Ferdie, Jenny, and Me
by Jopy San Juan
It was 3 in the afternoon and the brisk heat of the sun wiped away the remaining light brown pigments of skin on my nape. The day was so hot and obviously boring except for the old man wiping a black shoe he bas been working on in a corner. Every face I saw seems to reflect a look of wariness and distress from the exhaustive hot summer wave of April. I was on the street waiting for my dad to take me back home.
I had just attended a wedding ceremony of my life. Not my wedding, but of my love.
While waiting for my ride, my uneasiness increases as the time slip away in a slow motion like in an old black in white movie. My mobile phone rang. It was my best friend Ferdie.
“Hey! Where in the world are you? The reception party is not yet over!” It was Ferdie’s voice.
“I’m going home. My stomach can’t take much of the food.” I lied.
“There’s a comfort room here, why you have to go home? Jenny is looking for you.” He seemed restless.
by Jopy San Juan
It was 3 in the afternoon and the brisk heat of the sun wiped away the remaining light brown pigments of skin on my nape. The day was so hot and obviously boring except for the old man wiping a black shoe he bas been working on in a corner. Every face I saw seems to reflect a look of wariness and distress from the exhaustive hot summer wave of April. I was on the street waiting for my dad to take me back home.
I had just attended a wedding ceremony of my life. Not my wedding, but of my love.
While waiting for my ride, my uneasiness increases as the time slip away in a slow motion like in an old black in white movie. My mobile phone rang. It was my best friend Ferdie.
“Hey! Where in the world are you? The reception party is not yet over!” It was Ferdie’s voice.
“I’m going home. My stomach can’t take much of the food.” I lied.
“There’s a comfort room here, why you have to go home? Jenny is looking for you.” He seemed restless.
Jenny is Ferdie’s new wife, my other best friend.
“Just tell her then that I went off. I’m really sorry.” I put off my phone.
I took a deep sigh as surge of familiar thoughts came rushing on my mind in an instant. I can’t believe it myself. After years of good friendship and almost like a sibling treatment that the three of us shared, I would still feel this bad on both of them. I felt like I was cheated.
Ferdie, Jenny and I were high school buddies. Jenny was like a sister and a brother rolled into one. The three of us practically grew up together.
Ferdie was tall, lean and muscular, and a basketball superstar back in high school while I was the studious sedentary type. We are a total opposite but I think we compliment each other. Before Jenny came, Ferdie and I were already buddies. I would be his tutor while he would be my jogging partner for sometime.
Jenny was the constant beauty queen in every school related beauty pageant then. I know that a lot of our classmates want her but they don’t have the balls to pursue Jenny. They would often say that she got two bodyguards, me and Ferdie.
Although we were like three different people from different worlds but that didn't get in the way of our friendship. She would be our cook whenever we go out for a picnic on weekends. She’s such a sweet young lady with a perpetual 15 year old charm.
We became even closer when Jenny’s father past away on a plane crash in Cagayan de Oro. It was hard for the three of us since her dad was almost like a father to us all. He even teased us then that whoever Jenny would choose between me and Ferdie, he would be glad to accept. His death took us some years to move on.
Like ordinary teenager of our age then, we too had taken on different youthful adventures we hooked on. There was even a time when we tried to run away altogether for a couple of days just to attend a province-wide caravan on the summer of 2000.
Things changed when we were college. Jenny studied nursing course in a different school while Ferdie and I enrolled in the same university though we both took up different courses. We seldom see each other then even on weekends but still managed to hang out from time to time.
As we approached our final years in college, things even got worst. Our meeting shifted from seldom to very seldom. I concentrated on my thesis since my graduation was pending due to it.
One afternoon, I saw Ferdie and Jenny dating alone. Since that encounter, I started to wonder why they opted not to invite me whenever they go out. But I decided to shrug things off since I was also busy on my last minute graduation bustles.
Until one time, I got a chance to talk to Ferdie and Jenny on the matter. They were hesitant to admit things before me. My suspicion was concluded when Jenny finally confessed that they 're having an affair. For being their best friend, I should have had accepted things normally like anyone else.
But it took me by surprise and in a different perception. I even wondered why it hurt me so bad. I should have been glad since my two best friends got into something serious than commit themselves to anyone else I don’t even know.
Things started to unfold furtively. On my own, I trod back the years of memories the three of us shared together. It was then I started to recognize a special feeling looming in my heart for my friend.
“Just tell her then that I went off. I’m really sorry.” I put off my phone.
I took a deep sigh as surge of familiar thoughts came rushing on my mind in an instant. I can’t believe it myself. After years of good friendship and almost like a sibling treatment that the three of us shared, I would still feel this bad on both of them. I felt like I was cheated.
Ferdie, Jenny and I were high school buddies. Jenny was like a sister and a brother rolled into one. The three of us practically grew up together.
Ferdie was tall, lean and muscular, and a basketball superstar back in high school while I was the studious sedentary type. We are a total opposite but I think we compliment each other. Before Jenny came, Ferdie and I were already buddies. I would be his tutor while he would be my jogging partner for sometime.
Jenny was the constant beauty queen in every school related beauty pageant then. I know that a lot of our classmates want her but they don’t have the balls to pursue Jenny. They would often say that she got two bodyguards, me and Ferdie.
Although we were like three different people from different worlds but that didn't get in the way of our friendship. She would be our cook whenever we go out for a picnic on weekends. She’s such a sweet young lady with a perpetual 15 year old charm.
We became even closer when Jenny’s father past away on a plane crash in Cagayan de Oro. It was hard for the three of us since her dad was almost like a father to us all. He even teased us then that whoever Jenny would choose between me and Ferdie, he would be glad to accept. His death took us some years to move on.
Like ordinary teenager of our age then, we too had taken on different youthful adventures we hooked on. There was even a time when we tried to run away altogether for a couple of days just to attend a province-wide caravan on the summer of 2000.
Things changed when we were college. Jenny studied nursing course in a different school while Ferdie and I enrolled in the same university though we both took up different courses. We seldom see each other then even on weekends but still managed to hang out from time to time.
As we approached our final years in college, things even got worst. Our meeting shifted from seldom to very seldom. I concentrated on my thesis since my graduation was pending due to it.
One afternoon, I saw Ferdie and Jenny dating alone. Since that encounter, I started to wonder why they opted not to invite me whenever they go out. But I decided to shrug things off since I was also busy on my last minute graduation bustles.
Until one time, I got a chance to talk to Ferdie and Jenny on the matter. They were hesitant to admit things before me. My suspicion was concluded when Jenny finally confessed that they 're having an affair. For being their best friend, I should have had accepted things normally like anyone else.
But it took me by surprise and in a different perception. I even wondered why it hurt me so bad. I should have been glad since my two best friends got into something serious than commit themselves to anyone else I don’t even know.
Things started to unfold furtively. On my own, I trod back the years of memories the three of us shared together. It was then I started to recognize a special feeling looming in my heart for my friend.
I gradually weigh things bit by bit in an unusual way. With bottles of beer, I started to acknowlegde the feeling I chose to hold back and bury deep within me for so long a time. I could not even believe myself that, that little childish infatuation was still there hidden somewhere in the dark portal of my past, a fascination for my best friend.
I suddenly felt a warm ball of liquid roll down on my cheek right at the middle of the busy side walk. I quickly wipe my face as if it was just the dust that itch my cheek. But the truth is, my emotion got the best of me. Fate saved me from possible embarrassment when dad’s car stopped by in front of me just in time. I hopped in without a second thought. Dad asked me why I decided to go home early, but my mind was wristling with fond memories in another world.
“You should have been there, son. You were the best man of the groom and it’s not good that you left him in the middle of the party.” Dad moved on.
The engine started to roar and we swerve back to hit the road. Dad was still talking but in my silence, I kept on flipping through the pages of memories in my mind with my best friend. The one whom I just knew I loved…a love that I had lost few hours ago in a wedding where I was the best man.
Dad pull-over and turned to face me and said;
“Son, I know it’s hard, but trust me, I’m your father and I can see in your eyes how much you regret for that love." The last time he talked to me that serious was when he and mom was about to split. "She would be happy with him, I know. Now, let go and accept…and be like a man.” Dad’s eyes were full of sympathy when he turned to face the steering wheel again.
I almost burst out in tears for I knew my heart was in revolt. I made it so obvious to everyone at the wedding that I was not happy with their marriage. I could still feel the gaze of people around me back there at the chapel, looking at me while the priest recited the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
Dad turned the car righ following the road leading to our place.
Once more, I peeped out of the window and look at the colors and shapes that flashed before my view. My eyes blurred with tears as that thought conquered again my mind. The truth that I have just confirmed with several bottles of beer last night. The reality that until now, I am still in love with my best friend Ferdie, and I know, no one will ever learn it but me and my silence tears.
I suddenly felt a warm ball of liquid roll down on my cheek right at the middle of the busy side walk. I quickly wipe my face as if it was just the dust that itch my cheek. But the truth is, my emotion got the best of me. Fate saved me from possible embarrassment when dad’s car stopped by in front of me just in time. I hopped in without a second thought. Dad asked me why I decided to go home early, but my mind was wristling with fond memories in another world.
“You should have been there, son. You were the best man of the groom and it’s not good that you left him in the middle of the party.” Dad moved on.
The engine started to roar and we swerve back to hit the road. Dad was still talking but in my silence, I kept on flipping through the pages of memories in my mind with my best friend. The one whom I just knew I loved…a love that I had lost few hours ago in a wedding where I was the best man.
Dad pull-over and turned to face me and said;
“Son, I know it’s hard, but trust me, I’m your father and I can see in your eyes how much you regret for that love." The last time he talked to me that serious was when he and mom was about to split. "She would be happy with him, I know. Now, let go and accept…and be like a man.” Dad’s eyes were full of sympathy when he turned to face the steering wheel again.
I almost burst out in tears for I knew my heart was in revolt. I made it so obvious to everyone at the wedding that I was not happy with their marriage. I could still feel the gaze of people around me back there at the chapel, looking at me while the priest recited the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
Dad turned the car righ following the road leading to our place.
Once more, I peeped out of the window and look at the colors and shapes that flashed before my view. My eyes blurred with tears as that thought conquered again my mind. The truth that I have just confirmed with several bottles of beer last night. The reality that until now, I am still in love with my best friend Ferdie, and I know, no one will ever learn it but me and my silence tears.
